How to Declutter Your Fantasy Self

Have you heard of the concept of your fantasy self?

Your fantasy self is the person that you would like to be, but aren’t. It’s the ideal self you’ve created in your mind that you buy things for because you know one day you’ll be that person.

One thing to note is that this is different from dreaming about a life that you want while actively working towards it. It is more about the person that buys clothes four sizes smaller to lose weight, but never works out or eats clean.

A few months ago, I went to Florida to visit my oldest friend. While there we were talking about 7th grade when she almost convinced me to join the Tennis team. I remember asking my dad to buy me a tennis racket and I wanted the one made by Venus and Serena because I thought it would make me play like them. Y’all… to this day almost fifteen years later – I never touched that racket after buying it! This is a great example of my “fantasy self”. I had the idea that I would be something if I bought a particular item, but never took action.

Sometimes we do this unintentionally, but a lot of the time we do this because we think it will change our trajectory and make us something we are not. However, the best thing we can do is declutter our fantasy selves and live our lives intentionally.



1. What type of meaningful work am I creating?

Sometimes you want to be something different than you are because you feel as though the work you are creating does not serve a purpose. If what you’re doing is not meaningful to you then you’ll try to be something else. Such as, you want to be a yoga enthusiast but you know you’ll never get on the mat. Instead, you just enjoy the idea of being one.

2. What limiting beliefs am I holding onto?

What beliefs have you had since such a young age that you are still holding onto? By asking yourself this you will figure out how you truly feel about yourself and what you need to let go.

3. What does financial independence look like to me?

When your finances are in order, or if you’re beginning to get them in order you notice different aspects of your life change. Financial independence is different for everyone, but figure out what that means to you by living your life accordingly.


Begin by doing a big declutter of all of the things you said you’d use, or you’re keeping for that one day/event. Get rid of it! If you haven’t touched it there’s a high probability that you never will. Are you able to sell it? Great! If not, donate or give it away. There’s no point in holding onto ten kitchen appliances when you never cook because you like the way they look.


Roosevelt said it best: “Comparison is the thief of joy”. Comparing yourself to your “ideal self”, or someone you are not is a waste of time. Live your life for you and do what works best for you that’s what matters most.

For me – it is being intentional, prioritizing the relationships in my life, traveling when I can, and making sure that I’m comfortable. I’ve realized that’s what matters most to me more than trying to be a runner because let’s be real I’d rather do yoga any day.

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4 months ago

Wow! I loved this post and it was exactly what I needed to refocus today! I’ve already shared it! I feel like those 3 questions could be expanded into a whole series. Also that quote from Roosevelt is one of my favorites! <3

Felicia Renee
4 months ago
Reply to  Nicky

I’m so glad that it resonated with you! You may be on to something, or it might be in the works 🙂